The most dangerous thing high performers do when they’re overwhelmed? Try harder.
We work later. Push through. Take on more. Tell ourselves we just need to be more organised, more focused or more disciplined.
But if everything feels important, you’ve already lost your ability to prioritise.
That is often one of the clearest signs that pressure is no longer helping you perform.
For leaders, this matters because overwhelm rarely stays contained. It affects how we make decisions, communicate, delegate, respond to pressure and lead the people around us. And this is where resilience is often misunderstood.
Resilience is not about becoming better at tolerating more and more pressure. It is about noticing what is happening sooner, staying flexible in how you respond and knowing when something needs to stop, reduce or change.
So, if work and life both feel very full right now, here are ten practical ways to build your resilience without simply adding another ten things to your to-do list.
1. Notice your warning signs earlier
Don’t wait until you’re exhausted. Pressure often shows up before we consciously admit we are struggling.
You might notice:
your patience getting shorter
difficulty concentrating
poor sleep
finding it harder to switch off
becoming more reactive
working harder but achieving less
losing perspective on what actually matters
Ask yourself:: Is this simply a busy period — or is this becoming my normal?
The earlier you notice the signs, the more choices you have about what to do next.
2. Stop treating everything as equally important
One of the first signs of overwhelm is that everything begins to feel urgent. Emails. People. Problems. Deadlines. Decisions.
When everything feels important, prioritising becomes much harder.
Ask: What genuinely needs my attention today?
Not everything that feels urgent is important. And, importantly for leaders, not everything important needs to be done by you.
3. Ask what needs to stop
When workload increases, our instinct is often to become more efficient.
A better system. A tighter diary. An earlier start. Another productivity hack. Sometimes those things help. But sometimes the better question is:
What needs to stop, reduce or change?
Creating capacity can be more valuable than becoming increasingly efficient at carrying too much.
4. Check what you’re carrying
Leaders can gradually become responsible for far more than their own work.
You might be holding:
decisions someone else could make
problems your team could solve
work you should have delegated
responsibility for keeping everyone happy
difficult conversations you are postponing
tasks you have taken back because doing them yourself feels quicker
Ask: What am I carrying that doesn’t actually need to be carried by me?
This can be an uncomfortable question. It can also be one of the most useful.
5. Protect recovery before you desperately need it
Recovery is not the reward you earn when everything is finished. Because everything is rarely finished. Periods of increased pressure are inevitable, particularly when you lead people or run a business. What matters is whether those periods are balanced with enough opportunity to recover.
Sleep, movement, proper breaks, time away from screens and activities that genuinely change your mental gear all help replenish the resources we use when we are under pressure. Don’t wait until you are running on empty before deciding recovery matters.
6. Get outside the jar
One of my favourite reminders is:
“You can’t read the label from inside the jar.”
When we are under sustained pressure, our thinking can narrow. Thoughts such as:
“I have to do this.” “Nobody else can.” “I can’t let people down.” “I should be able to cope.” can start to feel like facts. Sometimes we need enough distance to ask: Is that actually true? What else might be possible?
Talking something through with someone we trust can often create that distance.
7. Know your supports
Resilience is not the ability to cope alone. Think about the people who help you when things are difficult.
That could be your partner, a friend, colleague, mentor, coach, your professional network, your wider community.
Knowing where support exists before you desperately need it makes it much easier to reach for it when pressure rises.
One useful question is: Who helps me see the bigger picture?
8. Create boundaries before resentment creates them for you
Boundaries are sometimes presented as simply saying “no”. They are broader than that. A boundary is deciding where your responsibility starts and stops. For example: Where does work end? What access do people have to your time? Which decisions genuinely belong with you? What happens when somebody brings you a problem they could solve themselves? What are you willing to continue doing — and what are you no longer willing to carry?
Good boundaries protect both wellbeing and performance.
9. Get more comfortable with not knowing
Uncertainty is uncomfortable, particularly for capable people who are used to solving problems and having answers. But leadership frequently means moving forward without having complete certainty. When you find yourself spiralling around an uncertain situation, separate:
What do I know?
What don’t I know?
What am I assuming?
This simple distinction can help reduce the mental load created by trying to solve questions that do not yet have answers. You do not need certainty before taking the next sensible step.
10. Don’t confuse resilience with invulnerability
Being resilient does not mean nothing affects you. Life will knock all of us off balance at some point.
Businesses struggle. Relationships change. People become ill. Families need us. Plans fail.
Resilience is our capacity to stay flexible in how we think, feel and respond during disruption and sustained pressure — and to keep moving towards what matters. Sometimes that means pushing forward. Sometimes it means changing direction. Sometimes it means asking for help.
And sometimes the most resilient thing you can do is stop long enough to recover.
Start with your own Resilience Reset
If some of these signs feel familiar, I’ve created a free Resilience Reset Toolkit to help you step back and take stock.
It includes:
a quick pressure check
the 4S of Resilience
prompts to help you regain perspective
five practical ways to strengthen your resilience
space to identify what you need to notice, stop carrying or get help with
DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE RESILIENCE RESET TOOLKIT
You can download it, save it, print it and come back to it whenever pressure starts building again.
Supporting resilience in your organisation
Resilience is not only an individual issue. How leaders respond to pressure affects decision-making, communication, relationships, team performance and the culture around them.
Scaffold Coaching delivers a practical Managing Stress, Overwhelm & Burnout workshop for organisations, helping leaders and teams understand the relationship between pressure and performance, recognise warning signs earlier and build healthier ways of responding when demands increase.
EXPLORE OUR LEADERSHIP TRAINING
Or get in touch at leaders@scaffoldcoaching.com to talk about what would work for your team.